2024-02-02
Be careful about who you let into your life.
This is serious!! Some people got their reputation ruined, Their life ruined, because they let a certain person into their life.
And the opposite is true too. The right people in your life can completely transform it in wonderful ways.
There is no such thing as a “Bad Person”, Or a “Good person”.
I’m not going to get deep into morality here. I’ll only talk about People’s Actions and Behaviors towards each other.
Someone with bad behavior doesn’t mean this person is bad. it only means “He has bad behavior Now”. Now because they can change it anytime.
As I mentioned in the intro.
The behavior of people in our lives can influence us in 2 ways, positive or negative. examples:
Things if people close to you do, it will improve your life
Things if people close to you do, it will hurt your life The opposite of all the above plus:
Note: the word hurt refers to any area (career, emotional, goals, relationships…)
No one is perfect, and free from doing bad actions.
Also, not all bad behaviors are equal
I categorise bad behaviors from people into 3 levels: Level 1: we can accept and live with it in the long term. Level 2: We can accept it now but it’s bad for us in the long term. Level 3: The person crossed a red line
Here is how I deal with each level:
we can accept and live with it in the long term.
I recognise that someone has some bad behavior.
If I see he’s open for it I can let him know that he can improve it. Else I accept it. and live with it.
We can accept it now but it's bad for us in the long term.
In this situation I let the person know that his behavior is not good, and it can affect me in a bad way.
And I try to convince them to start changing it (cuz some behavior take a long time to change)
The best case scenario is if they did recognise that it’s a bad behavior. And start taking steps to fix it.
I love this, since it makes our relationship stronger, and it makes it more likely that they will also be open to me about my shortcomings and bad behaviors. Thus moving forward together.
But in case the person doesn’t think it’s a problem, or refuses to consider fixing it. Then it’s a goodbye. No hard feelings. That’s life, we don’t get along with everyone. and some things got to end.
Ending it doesn’t mean I never talk to that person again. It only means that I don’t consider them as a close person to me anymore. And I don’t allow them to affect me negatively anymore. (For example: if that person shouts and swears in public, I’ll avoid being in public with them)
The person crossed a red line
That’s an instant Goodbye, after letting them know what happened. and No hard feelings, of course, it’s the nature of the game.
Never hold resentment in your heart. Accept that people are different for many reasons, That you won’t get along with everyone, And that sometimes it’s necessary to take the hard conversation now and be done with it rather than live with the consequences forever.
As I do not hold any resentment in my heart. I’ve already forgiven them internally.
But to bring them back into my life. It’s necessary that: 1 - they have changed that bad behavior, Or I moved it to Level 1 and I can accept it.
2 - Both of us are willing to work on our relationship again (This applies to all kinds of relationships).
Note: A verbal apology without a behavior change is pouring water on sand.
You only have limited time to spend with others in this life.
If you’re spending all your time with people who hold you back, or people you half like to be with.
You will never leave a chance for people who you’d Love to be with. People who want the good for you and help you reach it.
And remember:
Be the person you want to be around.
Oh, you made it here. I would love to hear from you what you think. Contact me bellow.